 
Climb a Tree and Act Like a ...
    
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Our top story tonight: I just got fired from my part-time telemarketing job! I’m not really surprised, nor am I angry (though I did like the part about having a steady income, however small ...). The fact is that the company (which I decline to name on account of I’m not pimping for them unless there’s a chance of earning commission) noticed that sales were not as high as their unrealistic expectations. Now what could possibly be the reason?
-
More people subscribing to services like “Privacy Manager” that block all calls without ID (especially after the numerous times we’ve bothered them in the past).
- The fact that Starbucks is everywhere and offers coffee that, while perhaps not quite as good, is more affordable, readily available, doesn’t require people to buy it through the mail in two-pound increments at regular intervals, and is good enough to satisfy all but the most discriminating of coffee snobs (okay, I’ll reveal that my former employer made coffee. Happy?).
- The crappy premiums given away with promotional orders that sometimes arrive damaged, maybe, just maybe discouraging people from wanting anything more to do with this company.
or
- We haven’t fired anyone in almost ... Whoa! Two minutes?! Quick, get a manager on the horn!
Of course it’s “D!” Better fire whichever newbie has the lowest sales today! I actually wasn’t one of the absolutely newest people, but I was there long enough that they could justify saying “We gave him enough time to improve,” and to be fair I probably did have lower sales figures than the others hired at the same time (due in part to that pesky “Do Unto Others” credo I try to live by).
Still, I suspect they might have fired me over the others (who were all women) due to my gender - it’s much harder for a male to claim gender discrimination. Oh well, that’s enough conspiracy theory for today. Expect some strips related to my ex-job in the near future (I’ll try to make them funny as opposed to paranoid).
Today’s strip, other than continuing Tuesday’s “I Suck at Bomberman” theme, is also inspired by the friendly (and rather large) squirrels that inhabit (some would say “infest”) the main campus of Penn State. Though many would agree with Robert Klein’s statement that “Squirrels are just rats with good PR,” I enjoy feeding them. Among the more exotic items I’ve fed them: Chee-tos Paws, Fritos Cheddar Ranch Flavor Twists, and the breading from a Chili’s country-fried steak. Among the things they won’t eat: candy and the breading from Chili’s country-fried catfish. Though they have little hesitation in accepting food from me, they won’t even let me pet them, so the scenario in today’s comic must remain fiction. Sigh!
After reading my rant on product placement, my friend and fellow Keenspacer, Jenn Dolari, sent me the following:
You forgot to mention what I consider to be the most blatant product
placement in history. Supergirl’s Popeye’s Fried Chicken Connection.
Not only does she heroically pose for the chain near two signs, the store itself manages to paste a Popeye’s sticker on ever single one of its own windows.
As a side note, who IS Jimmy Olsen giving out those chickeny substances to? That man sure didn’t sound like Lois’s sister or my dear little sweet Kara.
On further inspection....
The scene where Kara flies into Downtown Midvale to when she walks back into the Popeye’s with Olsen...
- A billboard for Coppertone IN a construction yard.
- The Popeye’s store with stickers for Popeye’s in every window (readable from inside AND outside).
- A billboard for Stayfree Maxipads.
- A billboard for Tylenol
- A billboard for Eve cigarettes (I wouldn’t mind all the billboards if they actually looked like they weren’t advertising to the camera)
All inside two minutes.
The bulldozer chase scene:
- Donella’s store sells nothing but Lee Jeans it seems: Three Lee signs, and two Lee posters on its walls.
- A strategically placed JVC (sponsors of a lot of Superman films it seems) on a taxicab JUST in frame.
- The destroyed Donella’s Store reassembles itself for another framed “Lee” shot.
There are a few more conspicuous billboards, but they’re so far away, I’m not gonna count them (even if one seems to be a Popeye’s billboard).
Lucy takes over the bulldozer:
- If you’re looking at Lucy’s head, you’re looking at Baskin Robbins.
- Wind Song perfume billboard.
- We get a wide angle shot of “downtown” Midvale, showing how all the billboards are aimed at us, not the street.
- The JVC taxi shows up again.
- Jimmy Olsen runs across a huge number of posters: They’re pretty blurry and the only reason I mention it is the racecar driver poster in the middle of the half naked lady and woman drinking Chianti. :)
- Another framed shot of the Tylenol billboard.
- The gas station spills STP brand gas.
- If you’re staring at the Monster Truck Tire, you’re staring at Tylenol, which rolls down near the Wind Song billboard.
Supergirl appears:
- In one of the “Okay, I get the idea scenes” Supergirl appears with a Popeye’s sign immediately below her, to her right and a ways to her left, while four Popeye’s baseball caps grace the scene below.
- Supergirl looks over the destruction, and ponders “Stayfree or Tylenol?”
- Great shot - Supergirl’s POV: She sees a set of burning tires, then pans up to the Tylenol billboard, then quickly pans over to the watertower.
- Supergirl flies over the Eve billboard into the Watertower.
- Tylenol again. I could use some.
- New billboards! America Flicks its Bic.
- Supergirl drives the bulldozer past Popeye’s. Three times.
- Barclay Cigarettes is framed on the right.
- She pushes the bulldozer past Popeye’s a FOURTH time.
- Ford Tempo billboard, framed again.
- Then the bulldozer, on its own, decides to drive past Popeye’s again.
- And the scene ends as it begins, with the Coppertone billboard in the construction lot.
All inside of six minutes.
In other news, I found more DDR related comics, all from a now-defunct webcomic called Shinkutokimekisempukaku by Robbie “Yamcha Hibiki” Allen. He currently does a strip called Fusion D, which I personally don’t care much for (but you might! Give it a look!).
Y’know, I though I had more to say today. Either I was wrong, or that firing affected me more than I thought. or maybe I’m just tired.
Knowing me, it’s most likely the latter ^_^
Finally, my friend Mitch Hagmaier has pointed out that some of my HTML entities don’t read in older
browsers. I've replaced the “m” spaces with (hopefully more compatible) non-breaking spaces, but I’m torn between replacing the “smart” ‘quotes’ with the more mechanical "straight" 'quotes' and shouting “Upgrade now, Dude!”
I suspect, though, that Mitch may have very good reasons for not upgrading. How’s it working out for the rest of you?
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